


How Did We Get Here?

by Jazznsmoke



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Buffy's thoughts, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Deeper look into that ep, F/M, Music, Once More with Feeling, Sweets the Demon, The Scooby Gang (BtVS), angst but theres fluff?, btvs, musical episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 10:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazznsmoke/pseuds/Jazznsmoke
Summary: Those moments as Buffy reveals where she really was until her friends decided to bring her back to life on earth, and how she really felt in those moments as she begs for them to Give Her Something to Sing About.





	How Did We Get Here?

**Author's Note:**

> It's always bothered me that we weren't given a lot of insight into why Buffy finally revealed that she was in Heaven or how she actually felt as she revealed that to her friends/family. Here's my look into it.

Buffy sang, sang like her life depended on it, even as she took on the life sized, living puppets. She fought to ignore her friends and family as they entered the Bronze in a rush to get to her side and help rescue Dawn. She ignored Tara and Anya coming up behind her and filling the role of back up dancers to the twisted song she had found herself singing.

_“Give me something to sing about,_

_I need something to sing about_

_Life’s a song you don’t get to rehearse_

_And every single verse_

_Can make it that much worse_

_Still my friends don’t know why I ignore_

_The million things or more_

_I should be dancing for”_

She should have felt guilt, or trepidation. Anything other than grim satisfaction that the burden she was carrying was finally being spoken aloud. She found she was more than willing for her friends to know just what they had done, even if it broke them into pieces. 

She looked into her little sister’s eyes, saw the fear and worry there. She turned her attention back to the Scoobies, took in the way they looked at her in a mixture of horror, resignation and fear. She continued, powerless to stop even if she wanted to. 

__

_“That when you’ve bowed_

_You leave the crowd_

_There was no pain_

_No fear, no doubt_

_Till they pulled me out_

_Of Heaven,”_

She felt panic bubbling up inside of her, even as the music changed tempo and her body began to move faster and faster. Buffy saw and felt the smoke that her own body created as she began the process of spontaneous combustion. She new that the bomb she had just dropped on her friends would have them too shocked to be of any help. Honestly, did she really want them to prevent her from combusting? 

The moment the flames would have began she felt the hand on her wrist, strong, strong as her, halting her motion. Her body moved, once more, of its own accord and she was facing Spike. He looked down at her, his brown eyes full of concern and love. A part of her crowed in victory. Of course, he was there. He always there when she needed him. He was always there to pick her up and take the abuse. He was always there to pick up the pieces. 

She felt the panic that had been building slowly ebb away as she listened to him sing to her, her eyes focused on his. 

\--------------------------------------------------- 

She wasn’t too focused on the reasons behind Sweets the demon going back to hell. She focused on Spike and used him as an anchor. She focused on his breathing next to her and attempted to match it. She felt the pull of a final song coursing through her veins. She watched Sweets sing and dance before the pull took over. Her friends began singing and suddenly, she was pulled in with them. She knew it was happening; She could feel it and hear them all singing, herself included. As much as she was participating it was like her body had a mind of its own. She lost herself inside her mind momentarily, until Spike decided that he wasn’t going to allow his body to control him anymore and left the finale. It took her mere seconds to pull herself away from the others and follow Spike into the alley behind the Bronze. 

She couldn’t deny it, even if she wanted to. She was drawn to him. She had been for a long time. It wasn’t just that she was brought back from the dead, and that things had changed for her, it was that he was the only one who was possibly able to understand what had happened to her. He had come back too, and he had come back fundamentally different as well. 

Another song began, but this was different, it was a combination of two songs they had sung before with this forsaken spell. Somehow, though, combined, the songs had a completely different meaning, one that she was honestly hesitant to unravel or look too deeply into. 

She felt a pull, like someone lassoed her and was yanking her forward, forward until their bodies were touching and then their lips met and the music that had been swelling in the background reached its crescendo. She couldn’t decide if the kiss was byproduct from the magic of the spell or a magic of its own; a magic bred from Spike’s rescuing and consistency of just being there. 

She didn’t know, and for whatever reason, she chose to allow herself to be lost in the feeling of being there, alive and not in pain for even just that one small one. She could deal with the aftermath later, couldn’t she? 

**Author's Note:**

> For now this is a one shot with the potential to be expanded into a two shot.


End file.
